God is so generous. We asked Him for one and He gave us two. How this happened is my next article.October 1998. It was exactly 25 years to the day that I have been breathing air, when the wedding bells signalled the end of our single blessedness. It was very sunny that day. And inside the Sta. Rosa de Lima Parish Church (Laguna), my true love and I exchanged that solemn vow in the name of God and sealed it with a true love's kiss. The entourage was great. The choir whose members were some of our friends, did awesomely well. Yeah, even the priest was good. It was a perfect wedding, as perfect it can get, and we were on our way to creating a perfect family.
January 1999. My wife got pregnant. We were so excited. We were on our way to completing a family and the feeling was unexplainable. Finally, we were doing what God has mandated us to do, i.e. to go forth and multiply. Will I be able to be a father to this child as fathers meant to be? That has always been a disturbing question on the back of my mind. Then we begun looking for a name that will fit for both us instead of the upcoming child.
March 1999. That excitement turned to sorrow. My wife Laarni started bleeding, despite the total bed rest ordered by the doctor. And later on, her pregnancy was diagnosed as "blighted ovum". It was explained then to us that though it appeared normal at the start, the pregnancy never progressed and that no embryo was developed. That was the first bad news. And the second worst news was that that my wife had to undergo an operation called "dilation and curettage" supposedly to remove uterine contents, or whatever is left of our supposedly first baby.
April 1999 and thereafter. That was only the start of our agony. After that operation and for the next 3 years, we never got the rhythm back to procreating another one, tried as much and as hard as we can.
January 1999. My wife got pregnant. We were so excited. We were on our way to completing a family and the feeling was unexplainable. Finally, we were doing what God has mandated us to do, i.e. to go forth and multiply. Will I be able to be a father to this child as fathers meant to be? That has always been a disturbing question on the back of my mind. Then we begun looking for a name that will fit for both us instead of the upcoming child.
March 1999. That excitement turned to sorrow. My wife Laarni started bleeding, despite the total bed rest ordered by the doctor. And later on, her pregnancy was diagnosed as "blighted ovum". It was explained then to us that though it appeared normal at the start, the pregnancy never progressed and that no embryo was developed. That was the first bad news. And the second worst news was that that my wife had to undergo an operation called "dilation and curettage" supposedly to remove uterine contents, or whatever is left of our supposedly first baby.
April 1999 and thereafter. That was only the start of our agony. After that operation and for the next 3 years, we never got the rhythm back to procreating another one, tried as much and as hard as we can.
We consulted a lot of experts. Medically and otherwise (i.e. hilots, etc.) The last and most expensive of them was a gynecologist who was referred to us to have worked miracles on couples who are near the end of losing hope or even have. My wife underwent at least two more operations under her because as I can remember clearly what that doctor said then that mine was not meeting hers as there were blockages in the dating passage and she had to pave the way for a smoother travel of my descendants in their way to having their own marriage with that of my wife. Of course, we believed her then. But still no success.
Disappointment set in. We became desperate a little. And still, the doctor offered us yet another alternative. It's a little expensive she said. But honestly, even if it would have cost us a million pesos which I didn't have then (let me clear that, less people I know will begin asking me now for some, I still don't and still working on it), I would have unquestionably begged in the streets so we could have shelled it out right then so long as we can have a baby.
She explained that since mine cannot find the right way, we might as well help them do it. And I was thinking right there, now after emptying our pocket, she would invade our privacy too and direct us now how to do the act. Green-minded you! As she explained, it is called assisted reproductive technology (artificial insemination), a process by which mine is placed into the reproductive tract of my wife by using ways other than sexual intercourse, i.e. directly injecting mine direct to her eggs. Will they just inject me in my you-know-where and extract mine then inject it to her?
Well, that is much easier written than done, I tell you. I consider this as one of my most shameful experiences. Falling in line, waiting for my turn, nurses giving me a small cup (yeah, you read it right, CUP!) and asking me to enter a small room with the latest magazines and videos of you know what and start filling it up. (Huh! It's truly hard trying to make this as child-friendly as possible!). I remember asking the nurse whether I had to really fill it up as in up and what happens if I am not able to and she just answered with that all-knowing smile! Running from a building to another just so my thing won't stale before they could inject it to my wife's! The number of exclamation points in this paragraph couldn't emphasize it more.
To cut the story short as they say, which I never learn how to, being expensive does not necessarily guarantee things. Just as raising our hopes fast, so its decline when the technology 's promise did not materialize.
All hopes gone, we accepted then the inevitable - which people usually do at the end of hoping - if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be.
September 2001. It's Mama Mary's birthday. We heard amongst friends that miracles have been happening to people who go there so up we went to Tierra Maria in Tagaytay. The moment we arrived there I already felt something more. There were not many people yet inside as we were very early. Kneeling, tried as much as I can to pray, I cannot seem to concentrate on what I'm praying for. I stood up and toed the line to Mama Mary's statue.
(Many would not believe me on these next few lines. But this is really what happened and if I have to swear in front of anyone with a bible in my hand, I will swear it to be the truth and nothing but the truth.)
When it was my turn, I stood right in front of Her and place my hands on Her hand. The moment I closed my eyes, I felt like I was immediately swept off my feet and carried away. Smell of the most fragrant roses seemed to surround me. And right then, Her hands went soft in my hands. I felt fear at first but that feeling disappeared right away. Feeling of love and comfort immediately followed. At this time, I prayed with all my heart for even just one kid of our own. As if from a trance, I opened my eyes and saw Her face, her eyes staring right at mine. This went like forever but realized later that it was only for a minute or two.
Thinking and writing about this now still brings me goosebumps all over my body again. It happened so fast yet I sweated like a cold fish that early in the morning in Tagaytay.
December 2001. My wife's monthly menstruation was delayed. Nothing new, for she had been several times for the last three years but had always turned out false. But we had that feeling that this was it. Then my wife told me that she was so sure this time that God has heard her prayer and that she's finally on the way. Her story was that when we visited Tagaytay, she prayed then that she would get it by December.
August 2002. And she did. This is the first blessing. And we named him, Francis Joel (after St. Francis of Assisi).
Before this article gets too long, I am letting pictures take over.
Thank you , Lord!
(Hope this will serve as an inspiration to those who are still praying for their own. Keep praying.)
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